Snippets (Continually updated)

[Clone leader]

Title: Snippets
Author: Lora, Clone Leader
Characters: any and all
Genre: mixed. Generally humor.
Rating: Mostly G/K.
Disclaimer: I don't own SW, but I love to play around with it on a completely non-profit basis.
Notes: So... I have started this thing I call snippets. It is basically very short fanfiction moments, so I could just as well have called it Fanfiction moments. I didn't. (Snippets was shorter and incidentally Fanfiction Moments already exist on this site).
Originally all snippets are posted on my fb page to my starwars/geeks group, and then every month I post the month's snippets in a new chapter to Fanfiction.net. Now here comes all the snippets to date, with updates whenever I remember to make them.
Same rules applies to these as with fanfiction moments. If you get inspired and wish to use a snippet feel free to do so. Just please tell me, so I have a chance to read the result.

And now! The snippets!
________________________________________________



6/10 2010
"How did I end up here?"
"Your family was killed, you tried to help everyone else, and then everybody looked to you for hope."
"That...was a very good summary."
"I do my best."


7/10 2010
"Mirax is going to kill me."
"Mirax and Iella are going to kill me."
"Winter will never forget this."
The other two nodded solemnly. "Yub."
"They'll skin us once we get out of this cell."
"I'm done listening to Wes' proposals!"


8/10 2010
"Today's snippet is brought to you by the Hutt cartel - protecting (own) interests for over 4000 years!"


11/10 2010
"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be, Master."
"Don't say that; next thing you know something goes off track when you do."
"I don't believe in-"
"Die bloody jedi murderers! Arrh!!"
"What?! We haven't-"
"Told you. Now fight, Padawan."


13/10 2010
"So... why am I wet?"
"Well,
after you went unconscious, I had to pick you up, run through the field,
and jump into the river to escape the battle nek that was trying to
tear your throat out."
"I guess being wet isn't so bad then."



15/10 2010
"Argh!"
"Did that sound come from Wedge's office?"
"Yup."
"Then I don't want to know."



16/10 2010
"Sith, sith, sith, sith, sith! Why does these things always happen to me?!"
*Growl*

19/10 2010
"What are you hiding?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, I can see you are hiding something. What is it?"
"Just a little gift for you, dear. Happy anniversary."



20/10 2010
Pew! "Stop or I'll shoot!"
"Didn't you just shoot?"
"Stop or I'll shoot again!"
*shrug* "Okay, if you say so."
"And shut up!!"
*thumb up*



28/10 2010
"Next on Rouge Squadron:
-'How do you put lipstick on while pulling 3G turns in your fighter?'
-Someone gets a modeling offer from Galactic Glamor!
-One of the boys shows it all!
We'll be back right after the commercials!"




15/11 2010
"Attention, all personel. The base is under attack. Repeat: the base is under attack. Please, proceed with emergency procedures."



24/11 2010
"I'm telling you; there's no way you can fit them all in there!"
"Of course, there is."
"No matter what you do, you can't fit the entire Council inside a closet. It just isn't physically possible!"
"Bah, who needs physics?"



30/11 2010
"My head hurts."
"I told you not to drink that stuff. Now stay there while I find the keys."



1/12 2010
"I'm looking at a ghost."
"Yep."
"I'm talking with a ghost."
"That's right."
"I'm hallucinating."
"Let's go back to the 'I'm talking with a ghost' part."



2/12 2010
"I never thought I'd see the inside of a prison. Again, I mean."
"Well, this is your lucky day then; one prison cell coming up. Enjoy your stay."



5/12 2010
*Swoosh* "Who's there?!"
"Cool off, flyboy. I'm a friend."
"Yeah? And how do I know you won't shoot me in the back or something?"
"You don't. But for the record, if I wanted to shoot you I'd have done it before you ever knew I was here."
"Fair enough."



6/12 2010
"And here comes the calvary. Late again."
"Tch."
"But only a little late this time."
"You're right; it's an improvement."
"Hello boys! We saved the clean up for you!"



8/12 2010
*Pew! Pew! Pew!* "Why is it we always end up running in a firefight?"
"Because we are smart?"
"Less talking, more running and shooting!"
"Yes, sir! Running, sir!"



10/12 2010
"What just happened?"
"I don't know, but I won't mind it happening again."
"Me neither."



12/10 2010
"Wedge is gonna kill me."
"You're only holding the bucket."
"Wedge is gonna kill us."
"Not until he sees his X-wing. Now give me the big brush."



14/12 2010
"I love having a domesticated husband, who can cook and bake."
"I knew it! You only married me for my cooking skills."
"No, love. I married you for your cooking and baking skills."
"Oh. I guess it's okay then."



22/12 2010
"Emperor's Black Bones! Where did you come from?!"
"I'm a Wraith; I come from nowhere."



28/12 2010
"Hmm..."
"Hmm?"
"The cabels is damaged."
"And all you've got to say is 'hmm'?!"
"I'll add that it looks like a rodent chewed on them."
"Great. Just great." *sigh*



29/12 2010
"Nobody lay hand on my daughter!"

[Clone leader]

January:

2/1 2011
"He's a... He's a..."
"A shapeshifter."
"Uh-huh."



4/1 2011
"Oh. I'm still alive."
"Yes, so it seems... Don't worry; we can change that."



12/1 2011
"Do you think he knew?"
*shrug*"I don't know. You can never really tell with him, can you?"



17/1 2011
"Tomorrow's the big day. Are you ready?"
"Nope. But it doesn't change anything."



20/1 2011
"We are the Wampa Claw Squadron. Rebels of ice and fury."



31/1 2011
"I'm a cold blooded killer, I know this. I have always been. But that does not mean I'm also a cold hearted one."

[Clone leader]

February

1/2 2011
"But being crazy is fun! Wait. That came out wrong."



4/2 2011
"Due to a meltdown in the processorcore, we are sorry to have to cancel today's snippet. Instead we show a picture of snowy taun tauns."



9/2 2011
"You look like you were run down by a landspeeder."
"More like an X-wing crashed into me."
"Here; caf."
"Thanks, Boss."



11/2 2011
"Have a nice trip, Kid."
"And try to stay out of trouble."
"Don't I always?" *grin*



13/2 2011
"Argh."
"What?"
"I'm trying to write this report, but all I can think of is this song I heard earlier."
"Well, your report, your problem."
"Thanks a lot."

[Clone leader]

Marts

7/3 2011
"Food is a very important thing. Without it pilots just don't work."
"Agreed. But this isn't food; it's cake."
"Cake is food."



15/3 2011
"It's never going to work."
"Why not?"
"You're going up against a Stardestroyer!"
"We have two squadrons to handle it."
"You're not even two full squadrons! You're 21 pilots!!"
"Yeah, but you are forgetting something."
"What?"
"Half of us are Rogues. We'll do fine."



16/3 2011
"See? Piece of cake."
"I'm never going to doubt your abilities again."



23/3 2011
"I can't think anymore. My brain has seized to function."
"But somehow you still manage to breathe and talk. Amazing!"
"Shut up."



25/3 2011
"I thought you were supposed to be on duty?"
"I am on duty. I'm sitting at my station."
"Yeah, but you are reading... Well, what are you reading?"
"I'm not so much reading as looking. See?"
"Oh. Wow."
"My thoughts exactly."
"But how does she get her body into that position?"
"Well, that's why I'm 'studying' the picture..."
"Let me help with that study."



29/3 2011
"Who are you?"
"I am the definition of Awesome."
"...Okaaay."



30/3 2011
"Son of a Sith!"
"Yes?"
"Luke, you're not supposed to answer when someone says that!"
*grin*

[Clone leader]

April

11/4 2011
"Duck, padawan."
*swoosh*
"Did someone just throw a grenade at us?"
*BOOM!*
"Sounds that way."



12/4 2011
"Let's settle this in a civilized manner."
"I agree." *swish*
"I said 'civilized manner'."
"I consider lightsabers to be very civilized. Don't you?"



17/4 2011
*Knock, knock.*
"Who's there?"
"Darth."
"Darth who?"
"Darth Vader, you imbecile!"



19/4 2011
"Today's lesson is meditation."
"And what am I supposed to meditate about?"
"Nothing. This lesson is to learn to empty your mind and let the Force speak to you."
"Easier said than done."
"An empty mind comes easier with silence, young one."



26/4 2011
"Master?"
"Yes?"
"Why are all the shops closed?"
"There's a planetary holiday here, where no people work."
"Except us."
"Except us."



29/4 2011
"Surrender!"
"NEVER!"
*swoosh!*
"Um... what did you say?"
"Surrender."
"Okay."

[Clone leader]

May

1/5 2011
"What the...? Hey!"
"What?"
"You're not supposed to sleep on duty!"
"I heard Janson do it, and if he can sleep on duty then so can I."
"You're not nine years old, so suck it up and stay awake."
*grumble*



4/5 2011
"I've got a squint on my six!"
"Go head to head with me. I'll take your squint, and you can take the eyeball trying to get a lock on me."
"On it."
*pew pew pew!*
"Nice shot!"
"You, too."
"Let's shot some more eyeballs; they make pretty explosions."
"I'm all for that."



12/5 2011
*yawn*
"What's with you today?"
"I had to stay up all night to play my part as party happy, women happy, drinks happy and don't-give-a-damn-about-anything pirate captain."
"So basically you had fun with lots of women and plenty of drinks all night long."
"Yup. That pretty much sums it up."
"Lucky bastard."



16/5 2011
"Wedge isn't gonna like this."
"Nonsense. He'll love this."
"Wes, Wedge has never liked any of your plans."
"Sure he has. What about that time on Folor?"
"He didn't like that one."
"Okay, what about when we were on leave on Coruscant and-"
"He didn't like that one either."
*pause*
"Okay, I guess he hasn't liked my previous plans, but he is gonna LOVE this!"
"We're doomed."



26/5 2011
"You did WHAT?!"
"Sold our merchandise rights to a figure company."
"Why?!"
"To make us rich! It's a brillaint plan! Can't go wrong."
"Wes..."
"They are already calling us the Fabulous Four!"
"Wes..."
"Just wait till you see all the stuff they're gonna do."
"Can you even sign my merchandise rights over to someone else?"
"No."
"Then how -"
"You signed them over."
"When?"
"Last week, when I asked you to sign a bunch of stuff. Not my fault you didn't look at what you were signing."
"Please, tell me I'm dead or dreaming."
"Sorry, Wedge. I checked. He did it to me, too."
"We're never gonna live this down."



31/5 2011
"What are you doing?"
"Painting our new colors on the fighters."
"Black isn't a color."
"It's still our new colors."
"But black isn't a color."
"It's a figure of speech."
"You two are crazy."
"Why, thank you, Tyria."
"Just keep on painting wraiths on the fighters, will you?"

[Clone leader]

June

20/6 2011
"You worry too much."
"Can't help it; it's part of the job description."



22/6 2011
"What's going on?"
"Apparently they're discussing who gets to kill me."
"Ah?"
"They're all claiming they got dips on me."
"...This is going to take some time, isn't it?"
"Yup."
"Pass me a pastry then."



30/6 2011
*Pew! Pew! Pew!*
"Argh! Why does this always happen to me?!"
*Pew!*
"Shut up! Shoot and run!"

[Clone leader]

July

24/7 2011
"What kind of crap if this?!"
"The stinky kind, I think."
"Shut up and keep swimming."



25/7 2011
"Where's my goods?"
"I got boarded by a border patrol. Couldn't stop them from confiscating it."
"And? I ordered 200 kg ryll."
"I don't have it! The patrol took it!"
"Not my problem, boy. You either give me my ryll or pay me back."
"I don't have the money."
"You've got 10 days. Either you give me my ryll, pay me back, with interests, or I send the bounty hunters after you."
"What?!"
"10 days."



28/7 2011
"I give up. I can't take another step with this thing."
"Come on, we're almost there."
"No, I quit. It's too bloody heavy."
*shrugs* "It's your money, not mine."
"... Start pushing again."



30/7 2011
"Congratulations! You have just won the right to wash the dishes!"
"But... It's my birthday today..."
"Well, then you get to clean the tables as well."

[Clone leader]

August

20/8 2011
"I don't do things halfway; it's all or nothing."
"I know. That's why you are perfect for the job."



24/8 2011
"You're a hard man to catch."
"Yet you managed to do it. Congratulations."



29/8 2011
"Maybe we are doing this wrong."
"Yeah, we can't all have the jedi."
"Maybe we should just capture some of his students, and then there would be one for each."
"Agreed."
"Dips on the Master!"
"You can't call dips on him!"

"Crazy sith chicks."



30/8 2011
"I think a day."
"Na, he's tough. He'll last at least two days."
"Pfft! You are both underestimating him. At least four."
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"Care to take a wager on that?"
"Sure. How much?"
"50 bucks."
"Deal!"



31/8 2011
"What about this one?"
"Hmm, it's okay."
"Okay, what about this?"
"It would fit you, but..."
"But?"
"Do it always have to be black?"
"Fine. You'd prefer this?"
"No... why do they even make rainbow colored belts?"
*shrug* "I don't know, but someone must want them."

[Clone leader]

September

9/9 2011
"How many agents do you have in the city?"
"Now, now, General. It wouldn't be fun if I told you that."



17/9 2011
"What are you thinking?"
"... Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Yeah. Had a totally blank moment."
"You must be used to those."



26/9 2011
"..."
"Looks like I haven't lost the touch."
"Well, technically you didn't 'touch' me."
"Sorry, I'll correct that right away."



29/9 2011
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“That.”
“Why not?”

[Clone leader]

October

16/10 2011
"Wh-who are y-you?"
"Don't worry; I'm a friend."



17/10 2011
"Who are you?!"
"I'm your teacher. Lesson number one: kidnappings are bad for your health." *pew!* "See?"
"Looks like he won't make it to lesson number two."



18/10 2011
"Who are you again?"
"Your new boss. Get used to it."



26/10 2011
"Who are you?!"
"Your worst nightmare."



27/10 2011
"Who are you?"
"The Master of the Universe, of course."
"... Pinch me. I need to wake before this dream goes on."
"Okay." *Pinch*
"Ouch!"

[Clone leader]

November

10/11 2011
"My parents are crazy. Alone they are fine, but together they are nuts."



16/11 2011
"Come on, get up."
"Mmhm. Mara, it's still dark outside..."
"I know. Now get up."
"It's half past three... we're not even close to sunrise."
"I know. We need to get going now or we'll miss it."
"Miss what?"
"You'll see. Now get up, Tionne, and put on something practical."
"Right. I'm up."



18/11 2011
"That has got to be the oldest trick in the book!"
"But it works."
"Amazingly enough, it does."



20/11 2011
"It's unfair; he can make pink look good!"
"And you can't?"
"Right!"



30/11 2011
"Excuse me, please."
"Sure. What are you doing anyway?"
"Oh, just planning a kidnapping."
"Right. Wait, what?!"

[Clone leader]

December

1/12 2011
"Goodmorning!"
*grumble*
"It's a beautiful day."
*grumble, grumble*
"I take it you're not a morning person then."



6/12 2011
"Marriage? They can't marry!"
"Why not? It will be a symbol of how much we have achieved."
"But...but...they're girls!"
"Women. The term is women."



7/12 2011
"Those with unlimited power will always end up misusing it and become corrupt. It is a universal truth. Therefore I never trust a powerful jedi. Neither should you."



17/12 2011
"Whoa, stop! She's a friend, she won't harm me!"
"Got control of your pet?"



21/12 2011
"His aura feels like... a vortex. It used to feel calm and controlled, but that is gone now."
"That isn't good. We have to find him!"
"Yeah. And preferably before someone tries to shot him."



29/12 2011
"What is this?"
"A gift. Happy Fete Week."